Originally published in 2013, updated for Beyond Limits Education’s Growth and Balance Series.
Growth and Balance Series Introduction
This article is part of the Growth and Balance Series, where I reflect on the realities of goal setting, self-compassion, and personal growth. In this piece, I explore how to recognize when rigid goals no longer serve us, and how learning to pause, adjust, or slow down can be just as powerful as persistence. The series highlights both the drive to achieve and the wisdom to adapt.
Introduction
Are you familiar with the saying “Do as I say, not as I do”? For years, I lived this contradiction, showing patience to others while driving myself relentlessly. I was a classic overachiever, addicted to accomplishment and my own harshest critic.
In this reflection, I share the hard-earned lessons that taught me the importance of exercising patience, not just in words, but in action. This shift didn’t happen overnight. It took injury, reflection, and a conscious effort to quiet my inner bully.
A History of Pushing Through
In college, while playing water polo for USC, I tore a groin muscle but kept training, which led to further injury. Even then, I refused to slow down, relying on painkillers just to stay in the game. I pushed through to the point of burnout, leaving little left for future opportunities like Olympic tryouts.
Years later, after sustaining a traumatic brain injury, I repeated the same pattern, trying to push through despite my body’s clear signals. I eventually hit a breaking point, realizing I needed to change how I approached goals, rest, and recovery.
Learning to Listen: Signs from the Universe
Just when I felt ready to jump back into all my favorite activities, the universe reminded me to slow down. A string of minor setbacks, like conjunctivitis and small accidents, forced me to reconsider my pace. My doctors confirmed it: I wasn’t ready to return to everything at once. Friends and mentors echoed the same message: “Take one thing at a time.”
I realized I had been trying to add too much, resuming lifeguarding, surfing, and additional martial arts goals, all while building my professional life and planning a wedding. The result? Stress, overwhelm, and guilt whenever I contemplated adjusting my goals.
Adjusting the Plan, Not the Goal
My goal of completing Iron Palm Level 1 remained unchanged, but I decided to postpone the 3-Star procedure to maintain balance. The lesson wasn’t about giving up; it was about recognizing my limits, honoring the process, and focusing on sustainable growth.
Reflection: When to Pivot, When to Persist
Since learning this lesson, I’ve been more intentional about recognizing when to push and when to pause. Balancing ambition with self-care is an ongoing practice, but exercising patience has made me stronger, healthier, and more present.
✅ Reflection Prompt: Where in your life might you benefit from adjusting your plan, even if your ultimate goal stays the same?
Final Thoughts
In Part 1, I explored structured goal setting through the SMARTER method and reflection tools like SWOT. This second part of the series reminds us that growth also requires flexibility. Sometimes the bravest move is not pushing harder but stepping back, reassessing, and trusting in the long game.
In Part 3: Soul Surfer vs. Ego, I explore how inner dialogue and simple mindset shifts, like choosing flow over force, can transform how we approach training and life.
Author: Brigitte Denton (Founder of Beyond Limits Education)
Acknowledgement: This article was reviewed and refined with the assistance of OpenAI’s GPT-4, complementing the human editorial process. Header and supporting images were generated using AI tools (OpenAI image generation) and customized for use by Beyond Limits Education.
